Year: 2017

NAME: CLIVE CORRIGAN
AGE: 90
POSITION: HERE, THERE, EVERYWHERE!
BIRTH PLACE: LONDON

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1) Tell us who you are outside of the club. What do you do, how would you describe yourself? I work in security (CCTV) so get out and about. Generally I’m pretty laid back but outspoken about what I think.

2) How did you end up at Merton FC, and what is your favourite thing about the club? I worked with Chris Outred for about 4 years before he could muster the courage to say hello before introducing the club to me. I like how committed many of the members are, coming to training rain or shine and are willing to support our bar before, during (sometimes) and after the season.

3) Please tell us your personal career highlight with Merton FC? A largely improved season for the 5th team I’ve been leading and seeing so many people attend extra training to try and push for promotion. (Also still my half-way line goal which Malcolm kandula can take credit for assist from KO for)

4) What was your funniest moment at Merton FC (on the pitch or off it)? Hard to narrow it down to one with the 5s. If I could screenshot some of the stuff that’s on there you’d need an entire newsletter!

5) What are your goals and expectations for your team this season? I want to get 5 goals and actually get promotion.

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RAPID FIRE

Player to look out for in your side this season? Dwayne
Predicted top scorer? Andy Bitmead (Bitsy)
Person with worst chat/banter? Sam- constantly tells us his love life
Who is most likely to get injured? Tiago. Cramp seems to strike and induce him into labour!
Worst fashion sense? Dwaynes trainers can be pretty garish….

NAME: EDWARD PLAISTOW
AGE: 31
POSITION: LEFT BACK
BIRTH PLACE: CARSHALTON
NICKNAME: SCHOLESY

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1) Tell us who you are outside of the club. What do you do, how would you describe yourself? I’m a Quantity Surveyor who works for a leading UK and International Construction Services Consultancy. I class myself as a hard worker who is willing to put the time and effort into all that I do in order to succeed. That includes Merton!
2) How did you end up at Merton FC, and what is your favourite thing about the club? I used to play in the Price Georges Youth Football League in Morden for a team called Tooting Eagles (managed by Clive Roberts who some might know from his time at Merton). After competing at U16 level it was time to move on with a number of us, including my brother Dan Plaistow, selected to represent the league against Merton. I’m not sure if it was the 1st XI we were competing against however we did manage the win! I liked what I saw and the camaraderie of the players and I haven’t looked back since.
3) Please tell us your personal career highlight with Merton FC? I would have to say leading 5th XI out in a SAL Cup final. Unfortunately we lost in extra time albeit against a strong Polytechnic side a number of leagues above us!
4) What was your funniest moment at Merton FC (on the pitch or off it)? I would have to say that the funniest moment for me would be picking up a caution when I ‘apparently’ caught the opposing player with my studs during an arial challenge. Play resumed but the players acting skills resulted in the ref to stopping the game to go and have a word. A minute later he walks over to me and shows me the yellow card. I asked what it was for and was shocked when his response was “He said you studded him”. A second yellow card followed soon after as I stood in front of the ball to stop a quick free-kick.
5) What are your goals and expectations for your team this season? Following back-to-back relegation’s, just staying up would be an achievement. I feel that with the quality of players available, this season should be the one where we push for the title.

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RAPID FIRE

Player to look out for in your side this season? Aaron Loftus
Predicted top scorer? Dom Plumridge
Person with worst chat/banter? John Gridley (But only when he talks about Chelsea!)
Who is most likely to get injured? Dan Gridley
Worst fashion sense? Undecided……cop out I know but its a hard question to answer.

NAME: DARREN FITZGERALD
AGE: 25
POSITION: SIDELINE
BIRTH PLACE: CARSHALTON

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1) Tell us who you are outside of the club. What do you do, how would you describe yourself? I’m a Deputy Site Manager at St Marks Academy…Most would describe me as a miserable old bastard. When really I’m just reserved with a few one liners.

2) How did you end up at Merton FC, and what is your favourite thing about the club? I got a call from Daniel Woollard asking if I would be interested in helping run the U15’s side at Merton. Having previously worked together at our old club and the Midweek U18’s at AFC Croydon Athletic for the later stages of the season. We came down a few times, met and spoke to Steve and Max… the rest is history. My favourite thing about Merton has to be the great vibe and feel of the place; it’s not just a club. It’s a boars club.

3) Please tell us your personal career highlight with Merton FC? This has to be being a part of the coaching set up that has turned around the fortunes of the U15’s (Then U14’s)(Now U16’s) Taking over a squad that would just fulfil a fixture, taking only 3 points from 1 win out of 18 games. Conceding 112 goals with a goal difference of -87. Transforming into an 18 Man squad for the start of last season. Finishing 4 places higher with 7x the amount of points; considerably cutting down the goal difference to -13 in what proved to be both a competitive yet frustrating league, however still a very successful season all round.

4) What was your funniest moment at Merton FC (on the pitch or off it)? Apart from being mistaken for Mustard at the preseason club day by Vanny. It has to be the Away game to Old Parkonians for two reasons, both coming on the touchline… The first being my return of the long trench coat, infamous flat cap and not forgetting the notepad. Underneath this array of stylish clothing was my kit just in case we needed a number on the pitch as I had sustained an injury a couple of games previous after losing a somewhat competitive tussle with a bush. The second being one of the Parkonian players (who wore Number 14) He had been giving it out all through the 1st half to the point he even decided to take on the woodwork, and clearly one was not up to the challenge, and from the corner ended up in a heap on the floor. Rings of he’s broken his arm cry around the pitch. Half time. As 14 is now being led to the carpark. Team talk commences with the comment “ Number 14 has been by far their best player” Cue the brilliance that is Mustards quick sarcasm…. “Well I doubt he will be this Half”

5) What are your goals and expectations for your team this season? Obviously we would all like to win the league and get to a cup final etc.. being realistic, I think we are good enough to compete and would like to see us push for promotion. One step at a time though, and for now if we can turn the 1 goal defeats into wins and close out a game from winning positions I’ll be happy. As for the U16’s it has to be going for the league.

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Player to look out for in your side this season? John Cox A.k.a Jordan Lad’
Predicted top scorer? Dom Plumridge (Sorry Ed)
Person with worst chat/banter? Darcy (#AwfulBantz)
Who is most likely to get injured? Vin (Most Likely to fake it)
Worst fashion sense? Mustard (Double Denim!?)

NAME: GRAHAM WILGOSS
AGE: 34
POSITION: FORWARD
NICKNAME: WILGO

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1)Tell us who you are outside of the club. What do you do, how would you describe yourself?
Sports journalist turned corporate sell-out. Running? Yes please; preferably somewhere a bit different. Cycling? Well, we all have our problems.
2) How did you end up at Merton FC, and what is your favourite thing about the club?
During our (largely idle) Championship Manager-heavy university summer of 2002, Alex Herbert asked me to join his local team for the Hassocks 6-a-side tournament. Proud to say this club means as much to me now as it always has to him. Nowadays (if your cringe pipes can take it), playing any match with Sherbs in yellow is special.
3) Please tell us your personal career highlight with Merton FC?
Being promoted with the 1s at Bank of England courtesy of a 1-0 win on the final day stands out. As does last season’s Indian summer.
4) What was your funniest moment at Merton FC (on the pitch or off it)?
Absolutely any time I’ve ever golf-balled Ivan Gladkow. Actually, on that note, Van chewing through that pint of Caffrey’s on tour in Albufeira is up there. Partly because it has now (reluctantly) become his thing at a Merton wedding breakfast. What a continuous source of delight for us all. Thanks, Vanya.
5) What are your goals and expectations for your team this season?
A glorious cup run? Tick. Chris Rayner tying defenders in knots? Tick. Tom Benham setting a new world record time for the 100m? Tick. Paul Pearce topping the interceptions made chart? Tick. Ben Cook to go looking for a dust-up? Boom.

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RAPID FIRE

Player to look out for in your side this season? Joe Grew. Will dominate relentlessly.
Predicted top scorer? David Quainton. All from less than six yards. That said, Rayner is a two-in-one kind of guy.
Person with worst chat/banter? I always look forward to Conor Murphy’s on-pitch comms. Because I still (for now) have the privilege of splitting my game time between the 1s and 2s, can I also say Chaz? Chaz.
Who is most likely to get injured? Anyone tackled by Mustard in training. We walk in the garden of his turbulence.
Worst fashion sense? Darcy tends to rock up to games dressed as though he has just returned from a rave in an abandoned car park. Honourable mentions for Clappers’ jeans and Van’s brown jumper, dressed as though he has just returned from a rave in an abandoned car

NAME: Simon Clapperton
AGE: 43 (I know, how is still that good at his age)
POSITION: Centre half
BIRTH PLACE: CHELMSFORD
NICKNAME: CLAPPERS

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1) Tell us who you are outside of the club. What do you do, how would you describe yourself?
I thought it would be easier to ask others their thoughts. “Inspirational leader, my hero” – James Tilley, “Like a fun, cool older brother” – Tom Rowe, “If I’m half the man he is, when I’m his age, I’ll be so proud” – Ivan Gladkow, “Useless, old, fat ****” – Siri Durrani.
2) How did you end up at Merton FC, and what is your favourite thing about the club?
Googled local clubs and found an old mate played here. Seeing so many people enjoying their football and the friendships they make along the way.
3) Please tell us your personal career highlight with Merton FC?
Guiding the 1st team to promotion into SAL Division 1. First time in 60 years!
4) What was your funniest moment at Merton FC (on the pitch or off it)?
Both on tour. Off it was Max’s face when Tilley told him he’d forgotten his boots as we arrived at the pitch. The pitch was a good 15 minute drive from the hotel and we were already late. On it was Tilley’s performance once he donned his, now collected, boots. Three attempts at a skill which all ended with him on his backside. In his defence he was still pissed from the night/morning before.
5) What are your goals and expectations for your team this season? Aim is to push for promotion and integrate more new, younger, players

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RAPID FIRE

Player to look out for in your side this season? Hopefully one of the new guys making a name for themselves.
Predicted top scorer? Charlie Hockless
Person with worst chat/banter? Chaz or Siri
Who is most likely to get injured? Ivan Gladkow
Worst fashion sense? Browner or Ivan. Browner doesn’t try or care. Ivan on the other hand……..

NAME: Anam Hassan

TEAM: 5s

POSITION: Centre Midfield

BIRTH DATE: 04/03/1989

BIRTH PLACE: London

PREVIOUS CLUBS: n/a

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1. Tell us who you are outside of the club. What do you do, how would you describe yourself?

I work in a hospital calling up people to book appointments. It isn’t very interesting to talk about and I find people get bored quickly when they realise I’m not a doctor – which is awkward when I’m halfway through performing a prostate exam. Otherwise I would describe myself as mediocre at everything I put my hand to. On the pitch I see myself as a creative player, somebody who brings stability to the team through technique.

2. What was most memorable moment in your MFC career till now?

Ordinarily, scoring my first goal – for the 7s – would be my standout moment. However, it was my performance for the 5s two weeks later – where I grabbed an assist – which made me believe I could compete at a decent level.

3. What is your favourite quote?

I’m all about self-improvement and pushing myself so I tend to hark back to this boring quote attributed to Ernest Hemingway: “There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.”

4. Tell us something about yourself that most of us at the club probably aren’t aware of…

This is my first season playing 11-a-side..urm.. ever really, at the ripe old age of 28. Similarly hard to believe is that I’m also 28 years old. I’ve had to relearn a lot of stuff from when I was a kid, but at the same time, acquired extra wisdom watching all these years from the sidelines. 

5. Ask a friend for a reference and post their response of you – can be a family member, friend or teammate (E.G: “He’s a lovely boy” – Mom)

“My Anam is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is NOT a porn star.” – Dad

6. Lastly, share with us your goals/expectations for the season…

To cement my place in the starting lineup for the 5s. I’ve seen Tiago step up, which provides me inspiration because he did it despite strong competition in midfield. But to do that, I need to settle on the type of midfielder that I want to be; to play deeper or start higher up.

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RAPID FIRE:

Player of the season (at Merton): Andy Bitmead

Favourite team in the UK: Arsenal

Favourite team outside the UK: FC Messi

Childhood hero: Ash Ketchum, then later, Cesc Fabregas

Favourite word: My English teacher used to always say I was ‘facetious’.

Favourite band: RnB or soul music. Marvin Gaye, Let’s Get it On is my favourite song.

Favourite food: The Chocolate

Dream job: Footballer or Music Producer

NAME:  Dwayne Bedford

TEAM:  Merton 5s

POSITION: Left Wing

BIRTH DATE: 27th December 1991

BIRTH PLACE: Kingston, Jamaica

PREVIOUS CLUBS: Void

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1. Tell us who you are outside of the club. What do you do, how would you describe yourself?

The devil

2. What was most memorable moment in your MFC career till now?

my most memorable moment…hmmm probably my first game with merton, started on the bench and within 30 seconds our player ‘harry’ got red carded and gave away a penalty. I remember thinking wtf am i doing here

3. What is your favourite quote?

Information is not knowledge

 

4. Tell us something about yourself that most of us at the club probably aren’t aware of…

I never hold onto bad feelings, especially when it comes to football. once the match is over everything that happened on the pitch can stay there

5. Ask a friend for a reference and post their response of you – can be a family member, friend or teammate (E.G: “He’s a lovely boy” – Mom)
he really hates losing

6. Lastly, share with us your goals/expectations for the season…
promotion. no more no less

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RAPID FIRE:

Player of the season (at Merton): Delman Babaker

Favourite team in the UK: Man Utd

Favourite team outside the UK: VOID

Childhood hero: my dad

Favourite word: can we swear? (if not probably idiot)

Favourite band: i don’t really listen to bands

Favourite food: oxtail & rice

Dream job: to never work

After the long drive to Bromley, Merton 7s were ready to face Old Wilsonians 8^th‘s. Having faced them 3 weeks previously in which they fielded some notably better players, Merton were expecting another difficult game. With some regulars missing; Dave, Malcolm and Josh. The 7s, much like all political parties currently, had scrambled around to get players. In what turned out to be a very balanced squad. Lining up in the classic 442 the game got under way with Merton seemingly under the cosh early on. OW8 were dominating the first 10 minutes, with Merton not settling into the game. OW8 pounced and scored from a break. 1-0 down. After this, the 7s found their heads and took hold of the game for the rest of the half. With Chris and JT dovetailing beautifully in midfield to control the game. Spreading out wide to the two full backs of Dan P and Ed to create opportunities with both Jon Taylor and Scott profiting from this control. Jon Taylor’s tireless running allowing him to go through one-one with the keeper, who managed to save from point blank range. With the 7s in control, the pressure finally led to a breakthrough with Chris playing a cross-come-shot from the left-hand side outside the box. The ball floated its way past the keeper and into the top corner. 1-1! He definitely meant that! With all to play for the 7s were enjoying the game with nice interplay, but they were soon halted when they lost the dynamic and powerful Adam E. Who went off after hurting his shoulder as he tried to cushion his fall to the ground after being slide tackled. However, with Pete coming on in his place the 7s looked better for it! With Pete slotting in and dominating the flank with his hold-up play and running. Before the break there was one final incident when Scott had pressed the OW8 CM causing him to loose the ball, this lead to him kicking out at Scott. Infuriated by this Dobson went to Scott’s defence and shouted down the “Fat James Bay” (in his words). The CM was shown only a yellow card for this! As the referee deemed his frustrations to be with him not the team and so was only a yellow – very strange. No changes were made at half-time, with the team looking stable and the only thing asked was more of the same. However OW8 seemed to dominate for the first 10 minutes yet again, and like before they were able to get a goal during this little period of dominance. The striker smashing the ball from inside the box on the left hand side, past Martin’s near post side. Soon after this, Jon Taylor was replaced by Adam E who recovered from his shoulder injury. Dan P at RB was straight swapped for Scott at ST. Whilst Pete was moved from RM to ST alongside him. Adam E coming back to RM. The 7s then dominated for the rest of the game with the midfield two again dominating over OW8, however with all the dominance the 7s couldn’t make any headway. That was until 3 minutes from normal time. Dan P collected a long ball on the left channel, spinning past his marker he sent through Pete clean through. Pete then rounded the keeper and slotted home for 2-2!

Starting XI: Martin (GK), Dan P, Dan (C), Steve B, Ed P, Adam E, Chris O, JT, Dobson, Jon Taylor and Scott Subs: Pete

MOM: Dan P for his excellent play at RB in the first-half, before seamlessly switching to ST and setting up the equaliser in the dying moments of the game.

DOTD:  OWE CM aka “The Fat James Bay” for his constant moaning and shouting at the ref and then kicking out at Scott

Tuesday 18th April
Merton 1sts VS Southbank

An evening kick off always brings with it an odd sense of novelty that some embrace and others shy away from. Peter Brown was uncharacteristically upbeat and bullish commenting that he has the rare opportunity to work-out his day’s frustrations on the football pitch whilst Simon wasn’t really up for it and decided to leave his football boots at home, an early candidate for Dick of the Day surely!
The pre match bants was as strong as ever with people noticing that Matt Bosher was the new fatty of the team (until Woody arrived) and Browner was dressed in the Tesco uniform, which kept us occupied for a while.

With about 20 minutes left before kick off 4 players decided it would be a good idea to go out to the pitch to warm up, Tom Rowe failed to notice that out of a bag full of balls, the one he picked was flat but that didn’t stop the dedicated few from warming up in true “end of season fashion”…….. by hitting balls at Rat in goal, .which looked like some kind of secondary school bullying, forcing the small kid to stand still while the bigger kids tried to hit him with a ball. As coined by James Tilley, we were living up to the tag of Rag Arse Rovers……..until the opposition turned up. They had decided that practising corners with 10 players standing in the box heading the ball out was a good warm up. Still, we continued our fun until Clappers turned up with his shorts pulled up as high as Simon Cowell, but at least he had his boots on. Games faces on! Clappers instigated a proper warm up…… we had done 4 shuttles from the goal line to the edge of the 6 yard box when the ref signalled that start of the match….brilliant! Surely everyone had warm muscles ready to start fast right??

The line-up told you all you need to know about how the game had begun….Ivan, Bosher and Clappers in the middle of the park, not an ideal mid field trio but they ran around enthusiastically enough. The pitch was awful, hard as concrete with small patches of grass which ensured the ball would jump up if it ever ran along the ground to you, which was rare.
The ball was hoofed from one end to the other by both sets of defenders whilst everyone else got to grips with the pitch and their touches, to be fair to them, the Merton back four seemed to be the only ones who started well, straight from the whistle. The opposition had a 6ft.4, 18 Stone midfielder which led to some funny looks and chuckles between clappers and Matt as Ivan was left to mark him. Mis match maybe??
The game continued with not much to note as both sides settled, the opposition threatening more than Merton, with a few runs that didn’t seem to reach their full potential. There were flashes quality from Merton as everyone got to grip with their positions and with a few one-twos and some good movement out on the wing by Tom, we started to create some chances. With some neat passing from the back Tom released Kieron down the left wing who ran at defender s and seemed to be through on goal, his shot (or low cross) troubled the keeper who pushed it in to the 6 yard box and after a failed clearance Tom smashed it in the back of the net from close range. It would be fair to say it was slightly against the run of play but 1-0 to Merton nonetheless. We were lucky to retain the lead after a blind pass from Clappers to nobody, but that didn’t stop Clappers calling Browener….as though it was his fault…..and Tom Rowe giving a hospital pass back to Siri which put him under unnecessary pressure. The opposition’s huge midfielder started to impose himself a bit and began playing some good balls forward so Ivan began the lock down in midfield. The usually unaggressive attacker seemed to change to “Will Low” mode……the Silent Smasher. Ivan began dominating the massive midfielder, snapping away at his ankles, pushing him off the ball and at times nearly physically picking him up! In a David and Goliath scenario that may one day be made into a film, Ivan stopped the man mountain from playing where others could not and began frustrating him. Ivan had done his job and had this rubber stamped by the Ref after the beast like man complained that “number 7 keeps fouling me”! Job done, a new midfield Enforcer was born! The half played out with the same quality of football but on a positive note, everyone was starting to get warmed up.

The half time team talk was relatively short (thank god) and a few changes were made to save a struggling Tom and a puffing Bosher. Woody has finally arrived so went into the middle and Ivan went out wide………normal business ensued and Merton began creating better moves with a bit more composure in the middle of the park. Passes began going to feet, people started reading the game better and Merton started controlling the game. Every long pass forward from the opposition was being eaten up by Browner and Rat with Cooky and Connor controlling their respective sides. After another round of substitutes and position changes Merton began creating better and better opportunities with Woody half-volleying a pass forward which sliced open the opposition’s defence and nestling nicely on Kieron’s foot. He touched it past the defender and was on goal, a nicely placed passing shot would suffice and it would be 2-0 but Kieron went for the chip…….the ball did not ripple the net! Another good opportunity but the quality of the finish did not match the quality of the move. Another break down the left wing with Charlie and all he needed to do was deliver the ball into the box with Ivan back post and Clappers running into the box but Charlie lashed it high and out for a goal kick. The game became a bit more of a battle towards the end with a spirited performance by the Oppo, who refused to give up, fighting until the very end even though they were already relegated. There were a few moments where the ball bobbled into our box and wasn’t cleared properly which gave Southbank a chance to level the game but their shots were smothered well by our defenders, worthy contenders for MOM.
The whistle blew and the game was won. A cheeky 3 points on a Tuesday evening.

We all settled in the bar for a drink and to vote for MOM and DOD. As instigated by Woody as usual, Ivan was unfairly voted DOD for no other reason than jealousy from the real dicks of the day and Rat rightly won MOM.
Additional highlights include Tom Rowe spotting a message from Sherb’s wife on Clapper’s phone as he was checking for nominations…..some say it was a picture message!…….and Charlie was heard walking out of the club house with Ivan and Matt whispering softly, so that there was no chance the oppo could hear, “Good luck in Div 3 you *****!”

Merton 3s v Wandsworth Borough 3s – 1:2

 

The last game of the 3s season produced the, all too familiar, standard fare for the 3s, a one goal defeat, for only the ninth time this season. A multitude of platitudes could be used to describe the events of the 90 minutes, such as we had the better of the game, we didn’t take our chances and we didn’t mark correctly at set pieces.  All true, again….

 

The Dick of the Day nomination was secured even before the scheduled meet time, as Mustard, despite having compiled the ‘90s music’ playlist and ensuring the speakers were fully charged, failed to then bring the said speakers. This resulted in the rather limp alternative of “name the songs in the playlist from listening to the first few seconds” via the speaker of an iPhone 7.  This really got the changing room buzzing.   The 3s welcomed 3 players into the squad, whom have not featured this season; Kieran Lee, Will Wilgoss and Jon Cox.  Thanks to Walshy for bringing Jon down to the club, new additions are always welcome.

 

The warm up was completed, the team was announced and without a doubt, the whole team were internally contemplating just one question ‘Can we?’. It’s a question that lingered throughout and despite some determined probing from Will Willgoss in the changing room at the end of the game, we’re still not sure that we know the answer, which no doubt will mean that Darcy in particular will still be seeking the answer to that question over the summer months.  Darcy, when you find out, please let us know.

 

To the game itself, Merton started pretty well but after 15 minutes or so and against the run of play. A rather innocuous through ball managed to find its way through the midfield and defence, to leave Wandsworth Borough’s striker through on goal, he elected to quickly loft the ball over Kieran, whom had no chance of stopping it.  Our play was gelling at times and not at others, with our greatest levels of productivity arriving through playing our football simple, rather than looking for over elaborate passes, which invariably meant we lost possession.   Our set pieces were a threat, in particular Glenn’s corners, for both the opposition, and us thankfully their breakaway opportunities come to nothing though.  Glenn was put through from a great through ball from Will(go) and raced through on goal, he had the option to shoot or square the ball to DQ.  From having been present at DQ’s last appearance for the 3s, no doubt Glenn made a statistical assessment that DQs shot to goal’s ratio is 16.6% and felt that shooting rather than passing was more likely to produce the goods.  Alas, this was not the case as the keeper made a good save and put the ball behind for a corner.

 

Whilst we came in 1-0 down at half time, optimism was high that a comeback could be achieved due to Neal and Vin marshaling things at the back (which included guiding Walshy in the same way that Jose Mourinho does with Luke Shaw), their threat was pretty much neutralised, and that we were showing that we had the potential to create chances.

 

The second half continued in the same vein as the first, with a few chances coming and going, Iain in particular having a volley well saved at the near post and Glenn having a good individual effort tipped onto the woodwork by the keeper. Not long after this though, Merton scored the equalizer and it came through, (photographer for the day) Max’s new best friend (judging by the amount of photos of him on the club facebook account), Glenn.  Darcy, played a (surprisingly), non-sh*t ball from the right, over the top of the defence to Glenn on the left, who finished well at the far post.  This goal did two things – 1. Cemented Glenn’s position as top scorer for the 3s in his debut season, with seven goals and 2. Gave Darcy a potential answer to the “can we?’ question but it comes down to what the question actually is, as to whether it is actually an answer (As I recall this, I can imagine Will Willgoss fuming right now at the audacity of such a question, I also wonder what new boy Jon Cox made of it all, no doubt Walshy will help it all make sense for him).

 

With the scores level, optimism was high that Merton could go onto get another and finish the season with a win. Can we?  We definitely thought so!  That is until we faced a corner, which came as a result of a great save from Kieran.  Carrying on the theme from the week before, it looked like we didn’t fancy marking a number of the opposition at a set piece, which resulted in an unchallenged player scoring for the opposition.  Mustard was starting to feel really guilty again as he knew inside that his failure to carry out his one job of bringing the speakers, was probably the real reason for this goal being conceded.  Darcy emphatically emphasised this point after the game.  Never again, will he forget to bring the speakers.

 

Some other stuff would have happened in the game but nothing that springs to mind. Therefore it can’t have been memorable enough to justify an inclusion in the match report.  Hang on, there was something…. Kieran demonstrated that Monica Seles (for those not versed in female tennis players from a bygone era, she was a grunter) was onto something and launched a kick with an almighty grunt, which Chris Pap realised very quickly he had no chance of running onto, as it was effectively a shot.  Kieran mentioned afterwards that he was thinking (dreaming?) of Paul Robinson, whatever floats your boat, Kieran.  Oh, and Mustard attempted to demonstrate his tactical nous (akin to Mourinho’s plan v Chelsea on 16/4/17) by informing Iain that he planned to change the formation to a 3-5-2 to push for a goal, as there was only seven minutes remaining, Iain’s calm and measured response was “you’d better hurry up then”.  He then did it, but it was too little, too late.

 

The game finished 2-1, a one goal defeat, an unfortunate trademark to what has been a disappointing season in terms of results but a positive one in terms of team spirit and competitiveness. The expectation is that the 3s will now return to the league that they shouldn’t have been promoted from and will build on the experiences of this season to produce an improved set of results.

 

Post match drinking ensued with pizza, crisps, wine and Neal doing his traditional struggle with downing a pint. A solid number of players stayed until 8pm, which was good to see, although Walshy left earlier than planned, despite having a ‘green card’ as we were too boring for him (didn’t know that him having a permit allowing him to live and work in the US, entitled him to a greater level of excitement than the rest of us, but things must be different in the world of Walshy).

3s season over.  On to the MFC World Cup on 13 May and the Awards night on 27 May.  Over and out.

 

Team: Kieran Lee, Walshy, Neil Davison (captain), Vincenzo Di Matteo, Jon Cox, Iain Evans, Darcy Yates, Graham (Will) Willgoss, Glenn Pittman, Darren Fitzgerald, David Quainton. Subs:  Chris Papastanasiou, Conor Murphy, Mustard.

 

 

Goal: Glenn Pittman

MOTM:  Neal Davision

DOTD: Mustard (for failing at the ‘one job’ he had – bringing the speakers).